No matter how many times I watch this show, it never ceases to amaze me how many times people who are offered the opportunity to live somewhere always want to bring home with them.
When you're from Texas, why on earth would you travel to Shanghai and think a 4000 sq ft Victorian Mansion makes sense? Yes, it's wonderful and reasonable to teach children that 1000 sq ft is reasonable per person.
"Can a house ever be too big? I don't think so!" "I don't know if this kitchen is big enough, but we do rarely cook"
It just makes me want to cry, why bother having various countries? Let's just all shop at WalMart and eat at McDonalds and Outback Steak House! Why ever learn how most of the world does not own 1 of everything. Why go to a community center, just build your own pool/theater/bar/gym and hotel for guests!
sigh.
I adore the idea of living anywhere in the world, for any reason, and these people are given the option and look for the USA with a theme. it's just depressing.
And then you see the episode they go to Mumbai.. and everything seems right again. 240,000 Rupee/year. $6000/year to rent a 2 bedroom apartment. We'll call it an apartment. You bring your own gas tank to cook. There is no oven. No Range. No shower/tub, just a tiled room with a toilet, sink, and showerhead. It's amazing the difference.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Revelations, or what I think about all day
Weight: 30X
I hate posting my weight, but it defines alot of what I think about all day. I don't necessarily fixate on the number, as much as I fixate on the idea that I wear whatever covers me. I fixate on my fat rolls, or on the way I look at myself in the mirror with disgust.
I don't think it's entirely lack of confidence or some kind of body dysmorphia, it's more the idea that I failed.
Not that I want a pity party or to hear that I have a good personality or some such mess. None of that is relative. What I think about all day is the "who would you be if you could be anyone?"
Often I wonder how much of myself is a projection of what I feel I should be, and how much is who I really am. How do we define who we are? For years I defined myself through things, through places I've been as a distinguishing thing to separate the obvious drawbacks. I think often about how would I be completely different had I not always felt huge.
I write all this out because writing helps. I think often about the odd things I'm interested in and how they place so low on the to-do list for me. I'm interested in camping across America, not to be butch or cheap but because you see a side of things most miss. Would I ever really do this? God only knows, but the way things line up I won't. I want to learn a foreign language, but knowing me I'd spend 3 years finding the best deal on the software to learn the language without ever using it. My Rosetta Stone Japanese has been installed once, used for a week, and left to the "taburu"
So what defines me is evolving. I'm trying to get rid of things, but it's like giving up the drink, neither is really easy because so far for the last 10 years shopping/drinking defined me. How boring is that?
Ever been to a party, had someone ask you "what are you into?" and not had something to say back? That's my life at the moment...
Need to work on fixing it.
I hate posting my weight, but it defines alot of what I think about all day. I don't necessarily fixate on the number, as much as I fixate on the idea that I wear whatever covers me. I fixate on my fat rolls, or on the way I look at myself in the mirror with disgust.
I don't think it's entirely lack of confidence or some kind of body dysmorphia, it's more the idea that I failed.
Not that I want a pity party or to hear that I have a good personality or some such mess. None of that is relative. What I think about all day is the "who would you be if you could be anyone?"
Often I wonder how much of myself is a projection of what I feel I should be, and how much is who I really am. How do we define who we are? For years I defined myself through things, through places I've been as a distinguishing thing to separate the obvious drawbacks. I think often about how would I be completely different had I not always felt huge.
I write all this out because writing helps. I think often about the odd things I'm interested in and how they place so low on the to-do list for me. I'm interested in camping across America, not to be butch or cheap but because you see a side of things most miss. Would I ever really do this? God only knows, but the way things line up I won't. I want to learn a foreign language, but knowing me I'd spend 3 years finding the best deal on the software to learn the language without ever using it. My Rosetta Stone Japanese has been installed once, used for a week, and left to the "taburu"
So what defines me is evolving. I'm trying to get rid of things, but it's like giving up the drink, neither is really easy because so far for the last 10 years shopping/drinking defined me. How boring is that?
Ever been to a party, had someone ask you "what are you into?" and not had something to say back? That's my life at the moment...
Need to work on fixing it.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Favorite Jack Handey Quotes
A long time ago, in 8th grade, Angela gave me a book of Jack Handey quotes. Jack was a character on Saturday Night Live that would say these ridiculous quotes while showing a powerpoint like slide show. Sort of like a PSA commercial during SNL
"We like to praise birds for flying. But how much of it is actually flying, and how much of it is just sort of coasting from the previous flap?"
"Like Jewels in a crown, the precious stones glittered in the queen's round metal hat."
"The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw."
<grin>
"We like to praise birds for flying. But how much of it is actually flying, and how much of it is just sort of coasting from the previous flap?"
"Like Jewels in a crown, the precious stones glittered in the queen's round metal hat."
"The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw."
<grin>
Monday, September 5, 2011
Delayed Thoughts
Weight: 30x
So the detox on juice moment passed. I made it until Sunday at dinner. I wound up spending most of Saturday and Sunday with a miserable headache and a general lethergy I just wasn't prepared for. I can see why this takes more mental power than I was ready for. I could commit to the idea of juice for meals, I could commit to the idea that this is good for my health, but I couldn't really do it all at this time. The lack of caffeine was killer, the lack of the things I loved hard, and the lack of energy when I'm still fighting to get my life together was too much.
I still agree the detox is good. I will do that again, with more preparation. I *adore* grapefruit juice.
John eating around me didn't help. I realize more and more what they meant in weight watchers and everything I've ever tried that it's only harder when it's one half of a couple working at it. It's not that I think john did anything wrong, or that I couldn't do it without him, but it does add a level of difficulty to smell toasted peanut butter as your drinking spinach. It's the transition time that's hard, and it wasn't helping. Bless his heart.
So being me, it's time to move on to something else. Right on cue, work is pushing this Get Active campaign that I'm a part of. We're supposed to wear a pedometer and track our walking. I'm curious to see what comes back. I've found before that if I track things, I do tend to do better at keeping to them. My detailed nature of course leaves me without the ability to fidge things. I really really hope I don't come back as sedentary on the first day.
With this I'll try to continue to be better. I'm not buying anymore processed food, and trying to rid the house of what I have already. I won't waste food, but I can certainly clear out the house. I've sold or given everything else away, time to work on the last part of things that's messed up.
I must not have Mexican three nights a week... must resist the YUMbo.
So the detox on juice moment passed. I made it until Sunday at dinner. I wound up spending most of Saturday and Sunday with a miserable headache and a general lethergy I just wasn't prepared for. I can see why this takes more mental power than I was ready for. I could commit to the idea of juice for meals, I could commit to the idea that this is good for my health, but I couldn't really do it all at this time. The lack of caffeine was killer, the lack of the things I loved hard, and the lack of energy when I'm still fighting to get my life together was too much.
I still agree the detox is good. I will do that again, with more preparation. I *adore* grapefruit juice.
John eating around me didn't help. I realize more and more what they meant in weight watchers and everything I've ever tried that it's only harder when it's one half of a couple working at it. It's not that I think john did anything wrong, or that I couldn't do it without him, but it does add a level of difficulty to smell toasted peanut butter as your drinking spinach. It's the transition time that's hard, and it wasn't helping. Bless his heart.
So being me, it's time to move on to something else. Right on cue, work is pushing this Get Active campaign that I'm a part of. We're supposed to wear a pedometer and track our walking. I'm curious to see what comes back. I've found before that if I track things, I do tend to do better at keeping to them. My detailed nature of course leaves me without the ability to fidge things. I really really hope I don't come back as sedentary on the first day.
With this I'll try to continue to be better. I'm not buying anymore processed food, and trying to rid the house of what I have already. I won't waste food, but I can certainly clear out the house. I've sold or given everything else away, time to work on the last part of things that's messed up.
I must not have Mexican three nights a week... must resist the YUMbo.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Detox Day 2
Weight: 307.5
Somehow I've lost 8.5 pounds since Friday night at 11pm. Not sure that's possible or if my scale just toys with me. I'll believe the later.
For all the headaches and problems yesterday, today I wake up with just a hint of sinus issues and hunger. Time to make a fruit juice. I think today will be some apple or pear and grapefruit. Nothing crazy. No green.
Somehow I've lost 8.5 pounds since Friday night at 11pm. Not sure that's possible or if my scale just toys with me. I'll believe the later.
For all the headaches and problems yesterday, today I wake up with just a hint of sinus issues and hunger. Time to make a fruit juice. I think today will be some apple or pear and grapefruit. Nothing crazy. No green.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Detox Day 1
Weight: 311 bad weight, decent band.
"Lost" 5lbs somehow from right before bed until I got up this morning. Of course, it's water weight and nothing too serious to consider. Odd how our bodies do that. I'm hoping that tomorrow the drop continues, because knowing me I'll gain weight somehow.
The drinks today have been "ok" at best. I'll focus on more fruit tomorrow and less green. I was fine most of the day, just kind of hungry and had a headache from the lack of caffeine. Tonight's "dinner" thought made me nauseous and gave me a horrible sinus headache.
I wound up laying down thinking if it doesn't go away I'm done with this. 3 hours later, I wake up feeling ok. My sinuses still hurt a bit, but the headache is not there and I don't feel sick to my stomach. I feel not thin, but oddly not bloated like I would normally.
I'm also not buzzed, which is unusual for a Saturday.
So.. we'll see. I'm off to sleep again after some water.
"Lost" 5lbs somehow from right before bed until I got up this morning. Of course, it's water weight and nothing too serious to consider. Odd how our bodies do that. I'm hoping that tomorrow the drop continues, because knowing me I'll gain weight somehow.
The drinks today have been "ok" at best. I'll focus on more fruit tomorrow and less green. I was fine most of the day, just kind of hungry and had a headache from the lack of caffeine. Tonight's "dinner" thought made me nauseous and gave me a horrible sinus headache.
I wound up laying down thinking if it doesn't go away I'm done with this. 3 hours later, I wake up feeling ok. My sinuses still hurt a bit, but the headache is not there and I don't feel sick to my stomach. I feel not thin, but oddly not bloated like I would normally.
I'm also not buzzed, which is unusual for a Saturday.
So.. we'll see. I'm off to sleep again after some water.
Friday, September 2, 2011
Detox
I have wanted to do some form of detox for ages, to restart my body and mind. I know full and well that living the college student life of drinking and fried foods did more than pack on 100lbs over the last 10 years. I know the drinking has slowed and clouded my mind. I know I don't recall things as I used to and I don't feel anywhere near as quick as I used to be.
I'm not looking for a quick diet, although of course any weight loss is surely appreciated. I've really thought about this over the last 3 years and I've tried sober months and Weight Watchers. Nothing really fit what I wanted to do, and I never felt the great clearout I want.
I'm loosely going to follow the "Fat, Sick and nearly Dead" detox of just drinking vegetable and fruit juices out of a juicer. if you've not seen the movie you should, it's inspirational to improve yourself physically. It's part of a long list of movies I've seen over the last couple years that focus on our food, health, and the impacts of all the chemicals and "food science" we eat.
My intention is to start this for the Labor Day Weekend, then see what I feel.
It's not yet been 12 hours since I had lunch. I had a real lunch.. the last for at least a couple days. I'll see what the morning is like. The lack of solid food and caffeine is going to be a real test of my will.
I also plan to weigh myself in the morning. That might be shock enough to stay with this. Sigh
I'm not looking for a quick diet, although of course any weight loss is surely appreciated. I've really thought about this over the last 3 years and I've tried sober months and Weight Watchers. Nothing really fit what I wanted to do, and I never felt the great clearout I want.
I'm loosely going to follow the "Fat, Sick and nearly Dead" detox of just drinking vegetable and fruit juices out of a juicer. if you've not seen the movie you should, it's inspirational to improve yourself physically. It's part of a long list of movies I've seen over the last couple years that focus on our food, health, and the impacts of all the chemicals and "food science" we eat.
My intention is to start this for the Labor Day Weekend, then see what I feel.
It's not yet been 12 hours since I had lunch. I had a real lunch.. the last for at least a couple days. I'll see what the morning is like. The lack of solid food and caffeine is going to be a real test of my will.
I also plan to weigh myself in the morning. That might be shock enough to stay with this. Sigh
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